Dear family member, friend, acquaintance, compadre, stranger, pal, relative, or random pair of eyes that happen to be gracing these words. I am typing this up as i try to wrangle together all of the thoughts and feelings. If things seem scattered, just know its normal, its me, so don't be worried. It will be a great to get some of these thoughts off my chest as one chapter of my life comes to a close. I am not sure what i can add to all of the stories and words that have been said about the experience as a missionary. I have come to know and love many amazing people that have left a perdurable effect on my life. Missionaries from all over the globe, people in the humblest of backgrounds, leaders that have truly been inspired, the plethora of them all. I have grown in many things. I know for sure that my testimony has been immeasurably changed. I can remember being petrified in the preparation for me leaving all my comforts and going who knows where, to talk to who knows who every day for the next 730 days. I had a lot of great influences, but the jump into the biggest unknown of my life was there at the doorstep. I told everyone that I was getting my mission call to England. No body would have predicted that I would be called to the Kenya Nairobi mission. It still does not seem real to me that i have been out here for as long as i have. The time has really flown by. I had no perception of what it would be like. What would I eat? What would the people be like? Could I stand the climate? What about mosquitoes? Was the church big there? Just a lot of questions I decided to keep a positive attitude and look forward to the adventure and see how it all turns out. So I waited for what felt like a good deal of time, 6 months, with a lot of my closest friends being picked off one by one on their own call the serve the Lord. The day came for my farewell and setting apart. To say a goodbye to the people who have been the closest to me. Friends and family. Some of which friends and family situations will never be as they used to when i left. Getting dropped off at the airport and giving my final hugs to my family members was one of the hardest experiences of my life up to that point. Flash forward to the MTC, it was a journey of its own and from what i can now say, is nothing like how my mission is. But the preparation and friends i made there had a monumental impact on my mission. I don't know what I would have done if was left to consider what I had gotten myself into. I didn't think I would be very good at teaching or sharing the gospel. And practicing it seemed to prove my point. I was concerned about how I would actually do when I taught real people that really need to know what I'm sharing. But I could quickly see that it had nothing to do with my eloquence or intellect. Which is good to know, I'd be doomed otherwise. I can see if I keep up with this this is going to end up being a novel. I know that all but one or two of you at this point have stopped reading or caring. But I'll try to stick with being brief. Well, relatively brief. I arrived in Africa. And it was a shock. My first 4 transfers in Eldoret was the refining fire for me. I had the best trainer out there. But a brand new area we were opening, I had no idea of how things worked here. But my perspective rapidly changed and matured as I got into the flow of things with the help of all the people I was blessed to be around at that time. Things dramatically changed on my mission in Eldoret and it was the roughest part of my entire life. Thoughts that you would never think a missionary had came to my mind as i tried to stand all of the burdens that were all of a sudden placed upon my shoulders. I did not know if I would be able to take it. But looking back i can see the Lord was really carrying me through it all. I had the smallest hope and faith things could ever get better. But by some unknown chance things slowly and gradually grew better. Including the growth that the Lord was having take place in my life. Moved to Buru Buru in Nairobi and there I was placed amongst another great group of amazing people. One of my favorite memories of Nairobi is seeing all the missionaries on P-Day, going to town on the crazy buses that transported us everywhere there, and getting a different angled view of missionary work. Before i knew it I was off to Kitale, the "bush", or so i thought. It was a short 6 weeks there before the terrifying call came from President Msane. I was moving across the entire country, over 850km away, to train a new missionary and open an area there. My body was not prepared for the humidity. But i miss it dearly. The sudden reality of humidity that wont retread. The warm moist air, the brisk ocean breeze, the soothing sound of the waves rolling up on the white sand beaches. Things were still on the climb upwards but they were better than i ever thought possible. There i met some of the best people I have ever had the privilege to meet. Great companions, great zone, putting it all into perspective it was a small slice of the cake of heaven. A hard fought bar-fight for the spot of my favourite place on my mission, as i have been blessed with areas to serve in. Leaving Mombasa was something I never wanted to happen, and to me its time still came too fast. A few short months and i was out, being transferred to the hardest area in my mission. Mautuma. I thought i knew how to be a great missionary until I was thrown into the real bush. Everything was completely different in every single aspect from what i was used to for the previous 16 1/2 months of my mission. I cant explain all the differences, but it pushed me right back down to the ground. As i tried to learn the gibbery Luuyah language, and my kiswahili was being sharpened and tested, lots of growth has occurred. It is the only "bush" area left in the entire mission and I have really got a different view of happiness and of the way of life. With its never ending muddy roads, white water rafting rain storms, and lush green beauty all around. It is another slice from that cake of heaven. Couple that with the amazing people I have met and helped to find lasting happiness here, it has really changed my life and its been an honor to finish my mission here. So now that I'm back full circle, here I am now, at the end of the line looking back at all I had done. As I consider it, I would not change what I've had throughout all this time. Are there possibly things I could change for what I think better, that would have been nicer for me or helped me improve more? Well, yeah, probably. But that's not what happened. What I have been given and what I have experienced has happened, and it's all been more than I could have imagined or hoped for in my wildest dreams. I was given some good advice before I had left, quoting from Elder Wirthlin's last talk: "Come what may, and love it." There's been so many good things that I have loved. Chapati is one of them. Same with chips mayai. Singing the hymns after we had MLC is another. I could list so many other simple things. One of the best things for sure is the people I've come to know and love. These people I've served, and who I've served with. A good number of you I am sending this email to. There's been plenty of bad. The roads here are bad. Just awful. Most of the music I've heard played out here, sorry, but being frank, I cannot stand. Being crammed in the public transport is interesting at best. I've seen more fake promises given to us than I've seen fake watches. And I've seen (and named) quite a few. And there has been a myriad of internal struggles. I don't know if I loved those things so much at the time. But going in review, particularly about those things that matter most, I am thankful for everything I've gotten. I'm grateful I've had the chance to serve the Lord and help spread the truth, at least a little. I don't really know what effects I have had, I don't know how many changes I've made, I'm not even sure how really devoted I was at times. But I definitely hope that I have played at least some small part in sharing this good word. It is good. It is so true. And I couldn't live without it. So. There it goes. It's surreal to be through. I'm really nervous now about what's next, but I guess looking back, I've felt the same way. And look where I am now. I've gone through okay, and gotten more than I could have hoped for. So there's good stuff ahead. There always is. I love each of you and thank you for all the influences you've had in my life. I wish the best for each of you. I've said it before and I will say it again, I wish written or spoken language could truly shed some light on the feelings, thoughts, memories, and experiences I have had. I hold it all dear to my heart and am happy with the person God has shaped and molded me into. Thank you all for being a part of the best 2 years for my life. May God bless each and every one of you and may his love abide with you until we are blessed to meet again. Lots of enduring love, Elder Christian Merz